A week of stuff 7/29

First up some music:

I wasn’t crazy about this song at first but the video was immediately funny. After even just the second time though I’m really into this song now. These guys are just awesome. Sort of Tim and Eric and sort of

 

Dey Rapin E’erybody Out Here

Yeah, enough said.

 

Videos of people on drugs after getting their wisdom teeth out are always funny…

But this is easily the best I’ve ever seen. Did they purposefully overdose him?  Amazing. This is a few days old so I’m sorry if you’ve seen it already but if you haven’t you absolutely must.

I’m actually starting a new job today so I’ve been busy getting my shit together  and didn’t get to updating this until too late. So I’ll leave you with just geekiness at it’s cutest. I don’t think I’ve played a Pokemon game since I was in 4th grade and a girl bumped into me, knocking my pokemon yellow ( i think ) out of my gameboy and corrupting the save file. I decided it wasn’t worth redoing and sold my gameboy. Even with such a brief experience with that game i found this super fucking geeky and adorable.

That was a really brief entry but I’ve started watching Dr. Who and it’s taking over my free time. More on that later, and I’ll work on gathering more material for next Friday.

 

-Ben

Dare I say..consistency?

So I’m going to try something out here. I’m going to make Thursday my official update day…probably…for now at least. And on these weekly updates I’ll have either a game review, some type of ranty/rambly/thing or (what I’m planning on for tomorrow) a collage of funny/amusing/interesting items I’ve found amongst the filth in the internet world that week. Think of it as all of the funny videos you get forwarded to you or run into on stumble upon or however else but all in one place so you don’t have to sift through the crap. They will generally be the week of the previous Friday to the Thursday that they’re posted but tomorrow’s will mostly be just the past couple days since I just decided to do this a few minutes ago. Feedback is appreciated as always. Who knows, I may turn this into something totally readable and interesting someday…which reminds me; i really need a proper title. Suggestions for that are very welcome as well.

 

-Ben

Have you seen Missy?

Ok, let me just preface this by saying that I like animals in general and I absolutely adore cats. Not only that but the cat pictured in this item (link below) looks almost exactly like mine. I was really hesitant to laugh at this at first but you will see, as I did, that the elocution of sarcasm and wit shown here is far too good to not appreciate. I’m sure this woman is really emotionally distraught over her pet and I feel for her, I really do. Losing a pet you’re really attached  to can be pretty hard (and really hard for some people) so I get that.

With that said: If she had a single reasonable bone in her body she would not be blogging requests for fancy missing poster designs and just put a picture of her fucking cat on a piece of paper, write the word lost or missing and her phone number. Then photocopy it and hang them around town. Maybe even go outside and look for her fucking cat. But instead she is blogging about how much she misses her cat, the one she isn’t out there looking for. And someone saw the opportunity, grasped it, and hilarity followed.

I sincerely hope she finds her cat and that it’s safe and healthy; but if her cat dies out there because she was too busy whining on a blog to actually go find her cat then RIP Missy and I’m sorry your owner was such a dumb bitch.

Have you seen Missy?

I’m pretty happy about this

Wilmington, North Carolina

Goddamn I love it here. I visited for a few days about  a month ago and I’ve now been here for the second time since Wednesday and I sincerely want to move out here as soon as I can. Everything from the people you meet to all of the fun things there are to do is just top notch. The very atmosphere exudes such a warm friendliness that having a bad day around here feels nearly impossible. The only exception from pure awesome about Wilmington would have to be the heat and humidity—which I’ve actually already become acclimated to, at least to some extent.  Maybe that’s part of it even. Everyone is generally having such a good time but we’re all in the same sweat-filled boat of torturous heat so everyone shares that common link right off the bat. Anyway, I absolutely love it here and even though I don’t leave until tomorrow night, I can’t wait to come back already.

Last night I saw Grace Potter and the Nocturnals play at The Soapbox, with Blues and Lasers as an opening band. It was one of the sickest shows I’ve been to in a really long time. I actually had never heard of them before last night (although I think I recognized one of their songs that’s probably in a commercial or something like that) and that just made the whole show even better. It’s rare that I go into seeing a band play not knowing anything about them and end up having great time. That show was just amazing and I’m already in love with Grace Potter’s voice and her rocking band. The opening band Blues and Lasers is actually comprised of The Nocturnals and some of their roadies whom decided to get together and make awesome music together. They sound like Zeppelin in that they are the sickest actual rock band I’ve heard since Zeppelin. It was just such a phenomenally fun show. Great music and energy and people the whole time—with the single exception of the creepy dude who may or may not have tried to date rape Sophia Bush. He was like hovering over her the whole time and kept acting really weird every time any of us made eye contact with him and then later on offered her some shots. She had to work early this morning so she declined and in a fit he threw the shots on the ground—getting them all over us—and then immediately proceeded to go buy more. It could be paranoia but why would he go get more and waste those ones unless he did something to him. SO shady. Oh yeah so Sophia Bush was there, as well as other One Tree Hill cast members—none of which I recognized. It was cool to meet her but it wasn’t really as much of a trip as meeting celebrities is hyped up to be; that’s mostly because I’ve never really seen that show or anything else she’s been in so even though I know she’s a well known actress that some people would flip their shit over meeting, it was almost as if I kind of had to just take everyone’s word for it. Anyway she is really funny and an absolute sweetheart—and gorgeous of course—so all in all it was a pleasure to meet her—and eat her food because I was too broke to buy my own. But wait, this is Wilmington, North Carolina…East Hollywood…one of the coolest places in the country and quite possibly taking Vegas’ place as my favorite city to visit, so of course meeting one celebrity isn’t nearly enough. Grace Potter herself joined us as well. Now keep in mind I didn’t know anything about her the day previous to this, but over the course of this one show I fell absolutely head-over-heels in love with her singing and was quickly converted into a huge fan. So not only meeting her, but meeting her so quickly after discovering her music was just plain insane. It was comparable to converting to Christianity wholeheartedly when not a moment later Jesus himself walks in with a twenty-pack of Aquafina and is like “Hey wanna hang out and drink some wine?” There’s really nothing else that compares.

At this point I’m ready to just die, I don’t see how my life could get more fulfilling—unless actually, I moved down here. So maybe dying is a bit drastic but I’m definitely going to have  a really difficult time trying to top last night for the rest of the summer. I doubt even the collective whole of my remaining summer could be more amazing of an experience than that one night was. Such a goddamn blast.

I’m here for one more night and it’s hot as balls out so who knows what we’ll end up doing tonight. Based on the heat and what little money is in my wallet it probably won’t be anything too crazy although having a good time is certainly guaranteed. I may or may not make another update about Wilmington before leaving but I’ll be sure to make one after I get home and recover either way.

Also if you’re not listening to Grace Potter and the Nocturnals and Blues and Lasers by now you really should be.

You can check out their music and find out about their upcoming shows by clicking their respective names above and you really really should. They were absolutely unreal live and if you never see them play you are doing yourself a shameful disservice.

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals are actually playing in North Conway, NH in August and then Burlington, VT soon after that. I’m definitely going to one of those shows and possibly both if I can afford. They’re that good.

Stay cool, I’ll definitely be trying to and I’ll start right now with a tasty popsicle.

-Ben

The Week in Rants

Evil Park Bench

Have you ever been walking through a park, gotten a bit tired and sat on a park bench? Sure, why not. Well listen up you lazy bum, no more bench-sitting for free, you think benches grow on trees? This is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever seen. Fabian Brunsing, an artist/photographer/designer living in Berlin created this crazy contraption. If you know me, I hate paying for anything so that’s the main reason I don’t like this thing—granted it’s only one euro which is a littler more than a dollar but the video below gives the impression that only gives you a very limited time. Not only does this bench charge you before use but after like thirty seconds it forces you to leave by threatening to sodomize you with metal spikes. I’ll admit that this is the most badass bench I’ve ever seen, but I don’t think I’d ever want to sit on it.

 

 

Least Practical Weapon Ever

I don’t even know what to say. When I read the subject “Rocket Propelled Chainsaw” my first thought was “Awesome!” but after looking at this a little more and thinking about it…what a horrible way to kill zombies. The design is apparently legit enough that you could actually build one but you would have to be picking up your ammo all the time (amidst zombies, remember) and probably have to sling some extra gas over your shoulder for when it runs out. The more I think about it the more a regular chainsaw seems superior. The only place these designs will ever thrive is in a videogame or a movie because it's way too absurd for real life—but goddamn would it be awesome in those places.

For the Alcoholic On the Go

Now if this was intended to be some sort of discrete Camel Back thing for women it would make slightly more sense; but still look incredibly obvious and be a hell of a lot less convenient than just wearing a Camel Back. Why would you want to hide a camel back anyway? Ohh because it doesn’t have water in it it has wine. Yes; this is a sports bra for those women that are sick of carrying around that box of Franzia during their morning jogs. Finally, right? It’s only redeeming feature is it’s name being the Wine Rack and that’s only because I’m a sucker for puns. I still can’t believe it’s actually advertised and suggested as something you drink wine out of. As I said, using it for water would still be stupid but at least slightly more reasonable.

You And Your Johnson

That heading could have gone so many ways but I think that simplicity not only saves you from reading horribly crude puns but also saves me from having to think of one while still laughing over this video. I love ad campaigns that were poorly thought out; I just like to imagine the type of people who approved this commercial being divided into two groups: the completely oblivious and the people thinking to themselves “Holy shit if we can actually get this on TV I will never stop laughing” or something along that sentiment.  Well before I say anything else please watch this family friendly advertisement.

Now. Presumably this commercial is about boats but not only is it a little ambiguous in it’s wording but it NEVER says the word boat; doesn’t even hint at it. It doesn’t even really focus on the boats as much as the people in it and of course, that song is all anybody is going to be able to focus on anyway. But in all seriousness the most surprising part of all was discovering that spending quality time with you and your Johnson has only been a way of life for 50 years (let’s say closer to 70 based on how old this commercial is). I’m sure we’ll see a rise in the amount of time you spend with your Johnson thanks to such colorful suggestions seen here such as: your girl and your Johnson, your mate and your Johnson, the controversial your kids and your Johnson and the ever-popular classic: just you and your Johnson. Ah, good times.

 

I was planning on making this longer but after that last 30 seconds of pure awesome I feel compelled to post this immediately. Thus, I shall divide this into two parts and start working on the second now. So expect the continuation of whatever this is in a couple days after I finish rounding up the funny, obscure and whatever else.

-Ben

Playing With Lions

This is super random but since I’ve been so long absent, I decided to make random little update like this.

I’ve been basically binge gaming and occasionally working right recently. Ever since I got my new PS3 I’ve lost all my saves so I’ve played through a  lot of my games again such as GOW:III which I’m almost through again, Uncharted 2 which I’m almost done with and Modern Warfare 2 which I’ve been playing mostly multiplayer in even though all I need to get platinum on that game is the spec ops—which are really hard to do with one person.

Anyway, here’s an awesome video of an Animal Behaviorist who plays with lions.

 

So now that I’ve got that out; I haven’t played a new game since Red Dead Redemption with the exception of when I rented Battlefield 2 by the way which was a pain in the ass. The game itself was pretty fun. The single player campaign was really nothing special and got pretty stale pretty quick. But it wasn’t bad by any means. The online is definitely the game’s strong point and although it was really fun I just couldn’t get into it too much; I could see that there’s a lot of progression available and the combat online is pretty damn fun but I just couldn’t get especially into it. The worst part—the pain in the ass part—was that I never even got enough time to really play it since Blockbuster has completely changed their rental polices to some nonsensical rip-off. I’ve always preferred Gamefly but being unemployed and constantly broke, I haven’t had the money to keep my account recently. But Blockbuster was ok for when I was waiting for a game to come in or I had one and wanted to try another right away. Games were eight dollars to rent for about 20 days or so. The receipts would have an “own it” date on them (which was about 20 days, give or take a couple) and you could keep them until noon by that date. Keep in mind there was always a “due date” on there as well which meant absolutely nothing. You could bring it back any day before the own it date and be golden. Apparently they not only changed the price of game rentals to nine dollars but changed it so that absolutely everything is a five night rental (technically four since it needs to be back before noon the due date). It’s HORRIBLE. I don’t know how that place is still in business but it’s not going to last long at this point. I’ve racked up a few bucks in late fees recently but I’m not paying them anytime soon. Maybe as soon as I get a job and some steady income I’ll go in, pay my rental fees and then explain to them how shitty it was of them to offer the same products, the same weak-sauce, outdated selection of games but sever the services rendered in half and degrade the experience of renting games at Blockbuster to a point at which it’s just not even worth it. You horrible, horrible corporation. *Sigh* I miss Gamefly.

 

Anyway I’ve been in a bit of a slum lately but I plan on getting out of it this week so hopefully we’ll have some updates soon. I don’t know how game-related they’ll be considering there’s no way for me to play any new games at the moment. Luckily there isn’t a whole lot coming out soon that I’m interested in. Not until Mafia II in August maybe and I’m still fluctuating on my opinion of that game; I’m pretty sure it’s going to come out alright though, we’ll see.

Until next time (which should be soon),

 

Ben